“It happened again.”
These words, spoken more than once in The Hangover Part II, do more than sum up the premise. Unfortunately, they accurately describe the whole film, which is why it doesn’t match up to the original. It’s funny, but the shine is gone.
Read the rest of my review at Oakville.com:
http://www.oakville.com/articles/the-hangover-part-2-movie-review/
Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”
Client: “Is e-mail internet”?
Me: “I beg your pardon?”
Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”
Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”
Client: “Open what?”
Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”
Client: “My…my…?”
Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”
Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”
Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”
Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”
Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”
Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”
Me: “No, ma’am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”
Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”
Me: “We…okay, ma’am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”
Client: “My what?”
Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now – it’s most likely near your computer?”
Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”
Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”
Me: “An error message?”
Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”
Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”
Client: “Yes.”
Me: “Move it for me.”
Client: “Move it?”
Me: “Yes. Move it.”
Client: “My e-mail!”
Conversations like this are the bane and joy of a tech support operator’s life. They seem fake when you read them, but I’ve had many that are just as crazy.
Funny thing about amusement park rides: no matter how much you love them, there comes a point when you’ve ridden too much, and they just don’t deliver the same thrill. Push past that point, and eventually you’ll actually want to get off. Pirates of the Caribbean, the movie franchise based on an amusement park ride, is now skirting that line pretty closely.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com:
http://www.oakville.com/articles/pirates-of-the-caribbean-on-stranger-tides-movie-review/
After seeing Bridesmaids, I feel compelled to address this review to men who might be reading it for one of two reasons: 1. They’ve heard it’s funny, but are worried about being overwhelmed by the female mushiness inherent to a film called Bridesmaids, or 2. Their significant others are dying to see it, and they’re wondering whether they should go along, or develop a spontaneous illness.
Gentlemen: You’ll be okay. Go.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com:
These are interesting times for superhero movies. The 3 most popular (arguably) characters – Batman, Superman, and Spider-man – have either rebooted or are in the process of rebooting their franchises. Iron Man and the X-Men have also made a big impact. Now we’re starting to see some lesser-known heroes coming to the screen, including now The Mighty Thor.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com:
Vin Diesel has really been working out lately. That much is clear the first time we see him in Fast Five, the fourth sequel to The Fast and the Furious. Mr. Diesel has always been muscular, but there’s a problem now – he’s bulked up too much. It’s thrown off his body proportions, so that in some shots, he looks almost overweight, and in others, he just looks odd.
I like Vin Diesel, have enjoyed his previous films, and I admire his skill as an actor. I’m picking on his physique here because it’s the exact thing that’s wrong with the movie: in trying to bulk itself up, Fast Five drags itself down.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com:
Brazilian culture is renowned for its carefree, celebratory lifestyle, with Rio de Janeiro being one of the country’s most exciting destinations. Perhaps unfairly, in recent years the city has also gained a reputation as a haven for kidnappers and smugglers. These two contradictory facts accurately describe Rio – a slightly-above-average film about the adventures of a kidnapped bird in a colourful and vibrant city. The film itself is a bit of a contradiction too.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com:
I’m torn on the idea of re-making films. On the one hand, if the original was such a great movie, then why not just watch that one? On the other, if a previously told story can be updated to speak to new generations, then why not? Most Hollywood films are derivative anyway – why not recycle good material instead of junk?
I debated watching the original Arthur before seeing this new version, but there would be little point. Deciding to condemn or praise the re-make for being too much or not enough like its predecessor is a job better left to film historians and purists. We should decide whether Arthur 2011 is a good movie on its own merits, and as it turns out, it is a good movie, though not great.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com:
You may not have noticed, or even care, but the Easter Bunny hasn’t received the best treatment in the history of the movies. Depending on your point of view, Easter is either the first or second most significant holiday in the Christian calendar. It stands to reason that its metaphorical representative should be in as many films as a certain jolly fat man in a red suit.
The makers of Hop try to redress this situation with a film about the inner workings of the Bunny’s operation. Unfortunately, it’s a lifeless film that might pull a few laughs out of the kids, but will leave parents checking their watches.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com:
One minute, Lt. Colter Stevens was flying a helicopter in Afghanistan. The next, he’s on a Chicago commuter train, in the body of somebody he doesn’t recognize in the mirror. Then the train explodes, and he’s inside a strange capsule, talking to military scientists on a video link. Life is very disorienting for Lt. Colter Stevens.
Luckily, Source Code isn’t. While you could get a migraine from trying to figure out the pseudo-science, the film’s involving story and brisk pacing make for an enjoyable ride.
Read the rest of my review on Oakville.com: